“Hey Eh’den, I found two hard disks of yours”. My wife and I have been struggling with water ingress issue in our son’s bedroom, and while she was taking the opportunity un-hording (also known as “throw away shit he is still keeping”) she discovered forgotten external hard disks of mine. One of them was a mini USB drive, 500GB of information which I thought I already backed up onto my 2TB hard drive.
As I was going over the endless folders and sub-sub folders I discovered a folder called “videos”. And there I discovered old videos I took of my kids when they were young.
I played the videos to my wife. She was sitting next to me in quiet, shocked. After watching few of videos she told me “Eh’den, I now understand why you refused to accept his autism. He looked so normal as a child”.
Looks so normal. Oh, how I miss my innocent Rephael, before puberty kicked in, before his body transformed into being a teenager, growing in order to prepare him to become a man, not taking into account his brain that is not fit for the world we live in. these memories from a time I still had hope I could reverse his autism.
Now Rephael is in the bath, and I am talking to him, telling him in 3 languages that all I want is to talk with him, to hear what he think, what his heart is feeling. Tears falls down from my eyes into the bath water, as Rephael looks at me with open eyes. Does he understand what I am saying? I can’t tell.
Oh, memories from long, long time ago, thank you for reminding me the journey, the music, and the silence.
(Segment from "The Revolution", all rights reserved)